Church

I don't know what to think about Sabrina going to church on Easter with the Hahns. Whenever I would ask her to go to church with me, she would get mad and tell me how much she hated church and it was so boring. So she wouldn't even go on Christmas or Easter. I'm glad she went to church this week and Mrs. Hahn could get her to go when I couldn't. It would be good for the girls to go to church. They could join a youth group and it would be a way for Sabrina and Clint to make friends. I hope they go back again. I think it would be good for them.

Diappointing Brunch on Sunday

Sabrina, the girls, and I went to brunch on Sunday. It was rather quick, less than an hour. It felt rushed, too. Kind of like we were just doing it to get it over. That was disappointing. The girls were not in a very good mood. That's what I like most about going to brunch--the girls interaction with everyone. Sabrina was just in a big hurry. It was weird.

I got an email from Clint about the loan. He suggested we go out to lunch on a Saturday or Sunday after they get back from their vacation to talk about it. He admitted money has been tight with Sabrina losing her job but she got sevrence pay and they are going on vacation so things can't be that tight. He also mentioned that he wanted to talk to me about "a couple of other things." I wonder what that means. What does he want to talk to me about? It can't be good. And why does Sabrina want me to talk to him rather than her? If he tells me that they can't pay it back I'm going to have a hissy fit. He may also want to tell me to butt out of their business with the girls. They think I'm filling the girls' heads with bad things about them. I will admit that i had a melt-down over Christmas when we went to see that awful movie "Tron." I did behave badly that day and I regret that. 

Sabrina still has not made an appointment with the psychotherapist.We really need to go to see someone if we are ever going to get over our problems. I have given  her all the information she needs. I don't know why she won't make the appointment. 

I have a migraine today (rats) but I wish I knew what Clint wants to talk about. I am anxious about what he wants to talk about besides paying me back the loan. I am being very generous by offering to let them have another year to pay back the loan. But they have to make regular payments, which they did at first but haven't done recently.

I hate having to talk to him about money and whatever else he wants to talk about. I really am very anxious about all this.

Dream on a ship

I dreamed I was on a cruise. I don't know where we were going, but I was feeling like I had betrayed someone. Sabrina was a little girl. My parents and grandparents were there.  I was worried that someone was betrayed.

Sometimes I Do Such Stipid Things

Sabrina knows that I have been in contact with Chris McNally and his family. That has not made her too happy. She feels they are nothing to me and I shouldn't have anything to do with them. It upsets her that I send birthday checks for their birthdays. Last week or so I happened to mention that Chris was coming home on a certain day, and she asked how I knew. I told her Susanne had messaged me on Facebook. That set her off. She said, "How would you like it if I started to have a friendship with Doug?" Actually it wouldn't bother me. He means nothing to me and if she wanted to have a friendship with him, fine by me.

Anyway, I sent a name game to people where you take the first letter of your last name and then answer a series of questions or objects that start with that letter. Stupid me. Instead of "Sabrina" for "a girl's name," I used "Susanne." Sabrina sent it back to me with the comment, funny how you picked the name "Susanne." Dumb, dumb, dumb. I set her off even when I don't mean to. I wrote in my other blog which gets published on Facebook about a time I was "on-fire." I chose the dog-bite incident. That set her off. I had no idea she was reading so carefully everything I write, but apparently she is. She remembers the incident very differently than I do. She remembers returning home to a trashed house and a dog in quarantine. She remembers being upset with me. I wrote about the incident in rather general terms than the whole drawn out story. But it was enough to set her "on-fire."

So unfortunately I have to be very careful how I word things in my blog now, so she won't get upset. I have still to hear if she wants to continue our therapy with another therapist. I gave her a choice of 4 and where they were located, but she has never answered. I guess I have to email her again and ask.

I hope she reads the blog about the best gift I received, in which I wrote about the square foot of land she bought for me in Ireland. That would (or should) made her happy, I would hope.

I hope to take the girls out to dinner today and tell them about the Imagine Peace 2011 Day that I spent yesterday at S-C-U school district. It was a great day. Barbie is so enthusiastic and good with kids and the kids were great and asked really intelligent questions. I thought It was a really great day although I was really tired at the end of the day, because I'm fasting to help get the federal budget passed. Fasting is one of the ways that we petition the Creator to hear our prayers. I hope that enough other people are doing it too so that we have some effect.

I wish the girls would get involved in a club that wanted to bring about change in the world besides just Pep Squad. But maybe when they are a little more mature, they will get into something like that. Of course, Sabrina never did, nor did her father or any of his family. They are all so different from me in the way they look at life. It is so foreign to me how they are totally unconcerned with world events. The only thing that seems to matter if what is happening right now in their lives. It's not a mature outlook on life, and I wish there were so way I could influence them to see things differently.

At least I have this blog that I write in and no one but me can see it. I need an outlet to talk about what it going on in my life, the good and the bad. Speaking of good, I was Dave's 10,000 comment. Go figure. What an honor. He is such a great and prolific blogger. I love his blogs, especially when he uses poetry. I also really like reading other people's blogs. They are all so interesting. It's nice to have blogging buddies.

I need to get to the pharmacies today to get my prescriptions and postcards for that project "postcrossings." I sent out one postcard yesterday and need to get more. I had more but have no idea where they are. I should go early while the traffic is not bad. Maybe I'll do that after I finish these comments on this blog.

I need to do some more Nana's stories and and write in the blogs for Jackie and Cassie. I wanted to have a separate blog for each girl that would be theirs alone. The can print it out into a book if they want, Most of the blog sites are doing that now. I could do that with "Nana's Stories" too, I guess.I would hope that I could publish that as a book for publication, but it might be too personal. Or not. Who knows.

I wish I had better sense as to what will set Sabrina off. It's like I have to walk on egg shells around her, she gets so upset at so many things. I really don't do things to intentionally set her off. Lord knows there are enough things I could do to do that without even thinking too hard about it. It's the things I do to set her off that I never think about. It does become quite tiresome.