In my other online blog, the question the other day was to list five things you were afraid to blog about. One of those things was my relationship with my daughter. The reason is because I have blogged about it and she saw it and became angry. I shouldn't have blogged about it online where she could see it and I've taken down the blog from Facebook so that she can no longer see my blogs, but the damage has been done. However I am still afraid to blog about this and about my son-in-law on my online blog even though they are too lazy to go look up my blog and see what I'm up to.
My relationship with my daughter is non-existent at this point. She has not spoken to me nor called me nor even really texted me except to have a couple of texting wars since August. She put in a pool at her house and I had to find out about it from my sister who found out through Facebook. She and I have had an email "war" over her loan (Clint has been involved with that too) since their loan is due today and they have still not signed their loan extension. They don't understand why they should have to sign a loan extension. They have only been paying $200 a month but it's my fault because I don't cash the checks fast enough. I told them that $200 wasn't enough because it would take another 5 years for them to pay me back. Clint said they could pay more if I would cash the checks faster. Does that make sense? They have still not responded to my extension of the promissory note. They seem to have blown me off, almost like they want me to take them to court. But I can't because I would lose so much money. They can go on vacation and buy a pool but can't pay me.
I asked her if we could get together every couple of weeks, just her and I, to have brunch and talk. She agreed. We'll have our first brunch in a week from Saturday. I plan to bring up the loan. We have to be able to talk about real things. I don't appear to be a priority in their lives. At least I have been able to see the girls recently. I wanted to see them Saturday to have them help me put Ernie's tag on his collar but they said they couldn't. It would have only taken 5 minutes. It annoys me when that happens.
Clint's birthday is coming up. I suppose that I should ask Sabrina what to get him for his birthday even though I don't want to get him anything. He hates me and I don't care much for him. I don't know him well enough to know what to get him. I really do want to try to get along with them but I don't think they want to get along with me. I think they wish I would go away. Maybe I should when the girls are gone. I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. It's sad.
My relationship with my daughter is non-existent at this point. She has not spoken to me nor called me nor even really texted me except to have a couple of texting wars since August. She put in a pool at her house and I had to find out about it from my sister who found out through Facebook. She and I have had an email "war" over her loan (Clint has been involved with that too) since their loan is due today and they have still not signed their loan extension. They don't understand why they should have to sign a loan extension. They have only been paying $200 a month but it's my fault because I don't cash the checks fast enough. I told them that $200 wasn't enough because it would take another 5 years for them to pay me back. Clint said they could pay more if I would cash the checks faster. Does that make sense? They have still not responded to my extension of the promissory note. They seem to have blown me off, almost like they want me to take them to court. But I can't because I would lose so much money. They can go on vacation and buy a pool but can't pay me.
I asked her if we could get together every couple of weeks, just her and I, to have brunch and talk. She agreed. We'll have our first brunch in a week from Saturday. I plan to bring up the loan. We have to be able to talk about real things. I don't appear to be a priority in their lives. At least I have been able to see the girls recently. I wanted to see them Saturday to have them help me put Ernie's tag on his collar but they said they couldn't. It would have only taken 5 minutes. It annoys me when that happens.
Clint's birthday is coming up. I suppose that I should ask Sabrina what to get him for his birthday even though I don't want to get him anything. He hates me and I don't care much for him. I don't know him well enough to know what to get him. I really do want to try to get along with them but I don't think they want to get along with me. I think they wish I would go away. Maybe I should when the girls are gone. I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. It's sad.
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ReplyDeleteBlessings....
ReplyDeleteRelationships with our children is very complex. One of the things that i have learnt as a parent is to step back and let them live their lives, let them experience what is necessary for them to grow, learn and transform.
The other thing that i have learned through experience is to not take their actions personally, though it feels personal.
Understand that you have done your job in raising your child, nor the other part of that parenting is stepping back and allowing them to live their life. Use this opportunity to rediscover dreams deferred, to discover new things, make new friends, confidants and open yourself up to learning some new things.
This is one of the hardest parts of parenting - letting go. Know when to get involve and when not too. One of the key things also is, understanding the parts of the responsibilities in conversations and actions are yours and what is not. Now is time to focus on you, your needs, to learn to nurture yourself and love yourself from the inside out, outside in.
As for the loan, they can do direct deposit so there will not be a question of cashing the cheques as they would have already been deposited directly into your account. Any one can make a deposit into you account but only you can make withdrawals. Just try this approach and back off and leave them to live their life and you live yours, I know it sounds easier than it is but at this poi t what do you have to lose?
There are other ways you can expend your energies that would be rewarding to you and to others who would be appreciative of it. Volunteering, becoming a big sister to a child without a mother, donating your services to the maternity wards at hospitals to babies who have been abandoned by mothers and they need people to provide warmth and comfort to help with the nurturing process. There is so much you can do. Love your child by all means, but love yourself and well and be kind to yourself and not set yourself up to be hurt. You deserve more and better.
Peace...
Rhapsody
http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix